peripatetic

Sep 4, 2024 14:53

Hmmm I'm not an expert, but it could be a combination of flashbacks, anxiety, hypervigilance, fear & mistrust, creating such intrusive thoughts. Ptsd can come with dissociation. I think its possible, but perhaps you might be better researching in other places.

HeartbreakBeat

Sep 4, 2024 18:11

I'm not sure, but Drumpf sure falls into that category. 😉

No, seriously, I have no direct connection to someone with PTSD, but, from what I know, it can be devastating.

WalterLuigi

Sep 4, 2024 19:19

As someone with PTSD. It sounds like that person is dissociating to the point of derealization. Are they seeking proper treatment and support? PTSD is a lifelong problem that can be very tough for the person suffering it, as well as those around them. Even more so if they are not in treatment for it.

WalterLuigi

Sep 4, 2024 19:22

If they are in treatment or have been, I'd gently remind them to utilize their grounding and distress tolerance skills to help bring them out of their episode. It can be hard, very hard. But is doable. Sometimes it takes a gentle reminder as when we are distressed, our skills are harder to utilize and remember.

Acecolette

Sep 4, 2024 19:29

To be honest i dont know if they are in treatment for it or not. I hope you dont mind me asking walterluigi have you ever experienced derealization before.

WalterLuigi

Sep 4, 2024 19:34

I absolutely have, and depersonalization. But only during very traumatic events or when reminded of very traumatic events. I do tend to dissociate at a lower level quite often though.

It can be very scary and distressing. Derealization you feel like the world around you is all fake. Everything just seems slightly off or unreal.

Depersonalization is more the feeling that your body, thoughts, etc are not real or not your own. It can feel like an out of body experience. Personally, I find it more distressing than derealization, but both suck.

Those with PTSD can also have trouble trusting others, in general. Depending on the cause and manifestation of their PTSD. Like for me, I crave close relationships but also expect people to be s**tty so I keep them at a distance. Intrusive thoughts and nightmares are very common too. For me, I mostly dissociate and have tons of nightmares and feel constantly on edge. Evaluating everyone and everything around me for danger. But its different for everyone. Sadly, there is no real medicine for PTSD, but trauma informed therapy can help a good bit. There's allegedly a medicine (prazosin) that helps some with the nightmares. But I haven't gotten much more than reduced intensity to the nightmares out of it, myself.

Acecolette

Sep 4, 2024 20:23

I see that is a lot realy to take in and have you ever said stuff that you really dont mean when upset if you dont mind me asking.

Neon Bright Star ⭐

Sep 5, 2024 02:20

Pro advice, cut and run. Don't hang around trying to fix people. Since that person is not adequately treating their illness they are not ready to take care of you

peripatetic

Sep 5, 2024 02:51

Haha nice to be ignored. When I tried to help.

I was told I had complex ptsd years ago. By my therapist, but I'm not sure how true that was.

Are you the woman that opened a thread about a guy a few months back that screwed ypu over, you apparently wanted to warn all the women?

peripatetic

Sep 5, 2024 02:56

My therapist said I "might" have complex ptsd,, so I studied those symptoms a lot.

But thats OK sounds like waterlugi & neon might help you, or not. Lol

Mjauw

Sep 5, 2024 09:14

I used to date a Person who was... let's call it broken inside.
And while that in itself is not an issue for me the fact that he let it bleed onto me was.
He was actively trying to press his paranoia down my throat and wanted me to agree with it.
So I guess I'm sort of siding with neon here in the sence that if the person is not trying to manage themself to the best of their abilities then it is not your task to involve yourself with it cuz you are not a doctor and you should not be dragged down juat because a person does not want to suffer alone and rather make you just as miserable as them.
There are ways to go about it, one can absolutely be broken and still be functioning enough to be relationship material. But its usually easy to see when that's not the case.

peripatetic

Sep 5, 2024 10:33

@Mjauw Agreed I refuse to date people that are diagnosed with something, & there not actively seeking help to get better, or seeing a psychologist. Although there's a lot of undiagnosed people, that have issues & don't seek help.

peripatetic

Sep 5, 2024 10:54

It hard to support someone that isn't willing to support themselves, by getting the help they need.

Neon Bright Star ⭐

Sep 5, 2024 14:43

What Mjauw said. People having baggage and struggles is fine, but if they're not treating their wounds they will bleed on you. I've done relationships like that before, and they suck the life and joy out of you

peripatetic

Sep 5, 2024 16:57

My ex use, to use the word broken for himself. He had adhd, an ABI, severe dyslexia & trauma. I didn't like him talking about himself that way. I dont think it helped him, he wasn't broken, he was injured. He had issues, but deep down he had a heart of gold. He just didn't want to get professional help, that ended our relationship. You cant support someone that doesn't want to help themselves & put the work in.

Anyway on a positive note. These links.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/knowing-feeling/202201/5-valuable-life-skills-often-learned-by-those-with-complex-ptsd#:~:text=Complex%20PTSD%20is%20much%20more,with%20a%20CPTSD%20may%20have.


https://www.coherenceassociates.com/blog/loving-someone-with-ptsd#:~:text=They%20may%20feel%20like%20if,or%20friendship%2C%20they%20certainly%20can.

Don't agree to anything unless there getting therapy.

WalterLuigi

Sep 5, 2024 18:43

I'll say things I mean at the time, but not mean them later. But for the most part, no.

I also tend to side with the other two. If someone has a severe mental health issue and isn't working on it, run. If they are working on it, that's a more case by case decision. PTSD is very debilitating and can be very harmful to those around you if not managed well.

It's one thing to support someone you care about and let them lean on you sometimes. But if they aren't managing it then it will suck the life and joy out of you.

I don't know this person or the scenario. But if they are undergoing derealization right now, they likely need to be in intensive in or outpatient therapy. Not a relationship right now.

WalterLuigi

Sep 5, 2024 18:45

If the things the person says are mean or hurtful, it doesn't matter if they mean them or not by the way. All that matters is that they are hurting you. If you communicate clearly that the behavior is unacceptable and they make no efforts to correct it, RUN as the relationship is likely abusive and will likely become more abusive.

(not necessarily the case here, but just felt this was important to add)

Looney

Sep 5, 2024 19:37

They have ptsd, not schizophrenia? I have ptsd but I’ve never described my time as being in a false reality. In bad situations I’d be like the dog in the “everything is fine” meme but that was more lying to myself to get through the bad but that was during what gave me ptsd so I was just traumatically stressed at that point lol. Ptsd is so vastly different for everyone who experiences it so it’s hard to pin point what most of them do. I could understand dissociating after something awful to get through the recovery process. If that’s what they meant then I’d say that’s pretty common.

Flyxglitter

Sep 5, 2024 23:58

People who are aware of there mental illness and say things they don't mean are using it as a crutch or a excuse. And if they say they are living in a false reality that means they are aware enough to know the truth.

I'm not saying they don't have PTSD. Because if you really think about it everyone on earth has some sort of issues. PTSD, anxiety ECT.

People can also be pathological liars too. They will say false s**t then say oh I was delusional. When infact nope they are just good at lying.

Flyxglitter

Sep 6, 2024 00:06

Walter, ive ruined so many relationships romantic and friend wise because I didn't take accountability for my bipolar. Id be in a bad mood and text people I love how stupid they are randomly. And then say things like I don't remember it wasn't me I was having a episode.

Ive been on meds and going to therapy when I can afford it. But lots of YouTube therapists have really good insite on things.

Mental illness is soooo hard. I've been homeless before because I have a hard time staying at jobs. But now I've been doing a lot better. Working for almost two years straight and only called out once for 3 days because I had health issues and was in the hospital.

Neon Bright Star ⭐

Sep 6, 2024 00:39

@flyglitter I'm sorry to hear that, bipolar is no joke. I imagine it's hard, but glad to hear you have found what works for you.

WalterLuigi

Sep 6, 2024 00:47

@Fly, yeah those pathological liars have deeper s**t wrong and best avoided at all costs. But can sometimes be hard to identify. I agree though. Tbh if someone is saying s**t they don't mean when upset, I find that even worse.

I'm glad to hear you have your illness better under control now though. Accountability is definitely CRITICAL, especially for any form of relationship. Platonic or otherwise.

𝕞𝓪𝓵𝕜𝓲ẸᵃѶ€ⓛŁᶤⒶ𝓷

Sep 6, 2024 01:59

That is YOU isn't it whitt whitt.. Seems you've come along way then happy to hear.

peripatetic

Sep 6, 2024 05:19

@Agreed with malkieaveilian, @flyxglitter happy to hear your being accountable & taking charge of your life. I also agree there's more then half the world's population that has at least an insecure attachment style. & then there's other mental health & psychological issues people develop. It's f**ked, but we have to be accountable & learn to deal with our s**t. Especially if we want to have some peace, & have a job, & a relationship, & friendships. Pointing the finger & blaming others all the time doesn't cut it. You need to be able to point the finger back at yourself & be accountable for your s**t.

peripatetic

Sep 6, 2024 05:21

I go to the America's now. Lol yayy!

Anthony55

Sep 6, 2024 17:49

What did you say ? You got discriminated or something hit by a fast moving car .

DÜmR

Sep 7, 2024 06:21

Paranoid schizophrenia comes to mind (it doesn't always mean hearing voices). But either way, what they got going is quite serious from the sounds of it. If they're full on delusional and think really grandiose scenarios, I'd be wary, protect your heart, and remember that there's only so much you can do for that person, gather resources, be supportive, but they're gonna have to do 98 percent of the work. If they're not looking for a crutch, then good, but if they just want someone to listen to their woes but don't want to do the work to try and get better, I'd be wary of sticking around.

DÜmR

Sep 7, 2024 06:21

Peri, if you see Nye say hello 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

DÜmR

Sep 7, 2024 06:39

Derealization

Lmao and looking shady left to right while I realize I've been doing this a lot lately. 😮 It happened a lot 4 years ago when I wasn't eating much, which leads to dissociation even more for people with my diagnosis. But lately it's been more of a feeling of "The hope has been sucksd from every molicule in this city and it's only a matter of time before it all goes down." as opposed to "This all seems false, or like a dream and none of it is real."

WalterLuigi

Sep 8, 2024 01:10

Yeah hard-core dissociation suckssss. Most people think of just spacing out, which is one of the lowest levels that most people do. But the more intense levels of dissociation get very serious. Losing chunks of time. Not thinking you or the world around you is real. Etc