Terminally Single

Nov 9, 2024 13:06

The older I get the more I focus of other aspects of compatibility, photos and words cannot convey just how much in person personality can change a person's view that the may have jigsawed together in their head.

I would however say that with such a limited use base, people are too spread out by location and what they can be bothered with. Perhaps a lot of people are waiting to be swept away, rather than go looking for that sweeping brush themselves.

Soso

Nov 9, 2024 13:34

This 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 is the reason I check in so much, the Forum.

I'm still grieving so not ready to share my fragile emotions in person yet, but thanks to this place and other apps, I regularly read posts to help myself feel connected to people and my fave alternative communities, as they're genuinely helping me heal.

Who knows when I'll be ready to date again, theres no time limit that I'm aware of, so for now I'll keep showing up and enjoying the Forum.

𝕞𝓪𝓵𝕜𝓲ẸᵃѶ€ⓛŁᶤⒶ𝓷

Nov 9, 2024 14:04

But the "other" forum users might do as i do and not use this for a dating site "anymore in my case lol" and just be here for the fun interactions? And using this forum is just a bonus? Lurkers also are a thing, we know who you are.

And annoyingly some of the most amazing girls i met that i'd totally get with were countries away which blew chunks. I mean a spare... 20 years ago now lol, i used sites like gothicmatch and so forth, had some epic luck, kept the bestie, so i am winning?
Here? screw the dating part almost, but the interactions with unique and fun people have made it so worth while. Made friends frenemies enemies full stop...

But i kinda LIKE being single in large part, might be cause i'm more broken than a glass thrown from a building or because i needed a spare 10 years to get back to myself after all the stupid.. "more the first bit i reckon" but its ANNOYING having a companion is a thing, i mean do I want that? or does society?

Also some of what merc said, US is a big place... Au people are rarer than my lucidity. I'm tired now -_))

KillingNarcs

Nov 9, 2024 20:03

Dating apps are the
shallow & less meaningful
approach to dating, imho.

Meeting folks in real
life is the way to go.

Willingness to meet
face to face and observe
eachother's body language and
so on says enough about whether
or not considerable effort will be
put into actually getting to know one another.

My real-world encounters overshadow
my online experience(s) on a planetary level.

Flush dating apps. 🚽

Daddy Gru

Nov 9, 2024 23:05

I have often wondered this too. You see the same recently active people on the front page, many of them even very attractive, for years. I think it’s possible they lurk on the forum, never posting but always pining for Daddy Gru and his panty-dropping wit and charm.

Nov 9, 2024 23:21

You'd think with such low expectations they'd have been out of here years ago.

Wolfboy20

Nov 9, 2024 23:50

Yup still here to. Some people just expect others to be perfect and when they turn out otherwise they just ghost them we have lost what it means to find a partner. It's not about finding perfection but it's about finding someone who will be themselves 100% and accept the other 100% no matter their flaws or falls, finding someone who will care for you even when you can't provide a rich lifestyle for them.

Looney

Nov 10, 2024 00:06

I think it’s mostly used for online friends rather than dating. Like people typically keep Facebook, instagram, other social media for years. I think that’s more how this site is treated.

Crowcifiction Resurrection

Nov 11, 2024 22:03

I agree, atlscene it is an exclusive club, more for chatting and busting each other's onions Getting accepted into the club is an honor. 😉

If one wants to try and date on this site good luck, if anything distance is the killer.

✧ᥫ᭡፝֟፝֟ꘘⲟxxxყᥫ᭡፝֟፝֟✧

Nov 11, 2024 22:06

Im at the stage of my life where i stopped giving a s**t. Life doesn't want some of us be happy.

✧ᥫ᭡፝֟፝֟ꘘⲟxxxყᥫ᭡፝֟፝֟✧

Nov 11, 2024 22:06

Im at the stage of my life where i stopped giving a s**t. Life doesn't want some of us be happy.

✧ᥫ᭡፝֟፝֟ꘘⲟxxxყᥫ᭡፝֟፝֟✧

Nov 11, 2024 22:06

Im at the stage of my life where i stopped giving a s**t. Life doesn't want some of us be happy.

Nov 11, 2024 23:03

You can say that again.

Mephisto

Nov 11, 2024 23:18

I don't know that I've ever really been happy myself. You're not the only one.

Neon Bright Star ⭐

Nov 11, 2024 23:35

Ok so.... I have noticed these people as well. I have also interacted with some of them so I have some hypotheses.

One of the guys I interacted with I'm pretty sure is a catfish. He has not changed his profile photo in years and was really defensive about sharing social media when we talked. Another on here is deranged, he looks ok enough but once you talk to him you realize he's crazy and obsessive. I can't speak for the ladies of alt scene but seems anyone on here who is hot and still single either their personality leaves something to be desired, they're looking for followers on IG or OF, or they're not a real account.

Nov 12, 2024 01:34

Haha Crow.

Nov 12, 2024 01:34

Haha Crow.

Nov 12, 2024 01:36

@Neon: I guess it's my personality. 😉😎

Nov 12, 2024 12:54

I've been partnered for almost two years now. I met my partner on a local app though, his still alt, his into metal, goth & 80s music, much like myself. His a creative type. I usually attract creatives or engineer minded types. Anyway the local people on here. I wasn't compatible with, & some people overseas I adored, but I suck at long distance, especially when you're having your first conflict, it's so hard to resolve an argument online, but I've learned so much from people here, the 5yrs I've been here. Especially my own strengths & weaknesses. Oh boy have I learned about where I needed to work on myself & my s**tty patterns. Altscene has been a bitter sweet ride for me.

Apps can be s**t. I do miss the days, when you walked into a venue, social group or attended some hobby group & you would meet someone, people's photos & profiles don't translate well into real life. I fall in love with people's essence, character, how they carry themselves, how they treat others. You can't see that in a photograph, or a profile.

Soso I felt for you. I fall in love slowly, but when I am in love. I love hard. They say half the time of the relationship is grieving time, some recover quicker. I usually need a little over half the time. It's better your not treating anyone as a rebound. That's not fair on them, or yourself really.

My unsolicited advice keep working on yourself. I also got to a point, that I was both happy on my own & in a relationship. I think its important to give people a good chance, & don't look for the perfect partner l, work on being the best partner & working as a team.

I'm only here for the forum & friendship

Nov 12, 2024 14:19

Last comment, basically backing up looneys ^^^ post, with my own circumstances, not sure about the single, by not single (monogamous), by polyamorous, by not human (bots), scammers, instagrammers, only fans etc, other, ratio on here.

We should do a poll 😆

Nov 12, 2024 14:19

Neon Bright Star ⭐

Nov 12, 2024 17:10

@heartbreak OP specifically said forum people don't count lol, so you're not lumped in with the tragic folks just yet 😉

Psychopatrish

Nov 12, 2024 22:20

It's too bad people feel being alone is like, terminal.

It's a lot of work to have a partner. Sure it's rewarding BUT, alone or partnered, one should always try to focus on self improvement.

That's just how I see it. Everyone's needs are different I guess. Get a dog? That'll give you a sense of purpose?

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Nov 13, 2024 00:05

Some people make the choice to stay alone,
It's more peaceful.
I for one don't get lonely, I don't miss anything.
Life is easier.
But that doesn't say I'm not all for love and everyone should look for it, no. It's all cutes.
But not for me. I'm good

Wolfie91

Nov 13, 2024 00:35

I would give up, Ive reached a point where I dont trust women anyway

Nov 13, 2024 00:43

@Neon: 😉

Nov 13, 2024 02:20

Psychopatrish agreed. Terminally single is a very extreme title. There's pros & cons of not being in a relationship & vice versa.

How I envy single people, you have so much freedom, you can pretty much go, do whatever you like without running it past anyone or considering a partner, you have more time on your hands to do whatever you want, the possibilities are lengthy.

You can work on your inner self, work out more, work on your career, travel, work on friendships & relationships with family, spend more time with pets, have lots of hobbies, give back to your community. Learn languages. I could go on forever. There so many other ways to live a fulfilling life & be there for other people. Being in a relationship isn't the only way, or the the be-all and end-all.

Looney

Nov 13, 2024 02:46

Amen peripatetic. Being single has a lot of pros. I love being on my own schedule. If I wanna move across the world tomorrow I can, if I wanna work every day I can, if I don’t want to do something I don’t have to explain it to anyone.

Nov 13, 2024 07:04

If you're having to check with your other half if you're allowed to do things, you're with the wrong person... or perhaps, you are the wrong person for them. Although it is extreme to drop everything and go travelling when one or both of you have perhaps work commitments.

Team work makes the dream work after all. You need to be with someone who is on the same page.

Looney

Nov 13, 2024 07:24

It’s not being allowed, it’s being respectful. When I have a partner I choose to have them be part of life decisions since they all affect both of us. Anyone who doesn’t consult with their partner first isn’t someone I’d want to be with. Team work making the dream work is right. If you just decide to do things without consulting your partner, that’s selfish and not being a team at all.

Nov 13, 2024 11:37

Exactly what looney said ^^^^ you cannot just, not consider your partners, thoughts, feelings, opinions. Communication is important. You're doing life together.

I'm not talking about someone being controlling. I'm considering my partner & keeping them informed etc... there's a difference.

You missed the point I think mercurius.

Nov 13, 2024 11:39

He does the same with me. We choose to be part of each other's lives, & that means making decisions togeather & compromising.

Nov 13, 2024 11:51

Perhaps.

Sometime ago I asked a friend if he wanted to join me at the cinema, and he said he'd have to ask his other half. Then during the film got his phone out several times to communicate with her. This wasn't informing her, this was asking mother if he can play out with his mates.

Nov 13, 2024 12:32

Hmmm I think its a bit strange he didn't put his phone down, when he was spending time with you.

What makes you think it wasn't informing & it was like getting permission & controlling?? How long did you guys spend together?

I love when my boyfriend's catching up with his friends, it gives me the chance to do the same, or have some me time. When my boyfriends hanging with his best friend it's like from afternoon to 5am the next morning. I usually check in to make sure there OK, because they like to drink & smoke some devils lettuce together, but thats more a safety check for both of them lol

It would be annoying if you hadn't seen your friend for awhile, your literally, seeing a movie, & say getting dinner together for a couple of hours, & the partners texting the whole time, that's a bit concerning. Does it seem Ike she does that all the time, or was that a once off?

Nov 13, 2024 12:45

I guess it depends where there relationship is, do they live together ? Do they have kids together? She could be texting about dinner, kids, scheduling etc

Psychopatrish

Nov 13, 2024 13:43

I would've called an usher over to discipline your neighbor for disturbing the entire cinematic experience for everyone. 📱 ❌️

How sad for your friend Oedipus @ MM.

Nov 13, 2024 13:50

Haha that too trish

Shhhh! Hate noisy people in movies. Had a couple of people behind me, talk through half a movie till I got fed up with them, & said look, if you want to talk & catch up, go to a Cafe, but don't ruin the movie for everyone else & myself.

Nov 13, 2024 13:57

I used to see that one a couple of times in a year, this being an extra exception. He's the guy that says he wouldn't drop his friends if a girl came along, and everytime he'd end up under the thumb. That event was 10 years ago, last time I saw him was 5 years ago. Even school friends get cut loose in time. I guess you could say I had the wrong friend.

Nov 13, 2024 14:08

😞 I'm sorry @ mm yeah that doesn't sound healthy, his not putting boundaries in place either, by the sounds of things. Friends & family are big part of your identity, there your support network & important for lots of reasons. You need an identity outside your romantic relationship.

My boyfriends best friend, said he was worried i would take him away. I told him I love that he has such good supportive friends & I would never come between them. I told him it's okay. I always shared my toys. Jk! 😆

I don't get along with my partners, brothers, wife atm I find her bossy, she tells people what to do, all the time, she thinks she's right, she assumes, & she one of those I one up you. People. Once again wouldn't come between partner or anyone he wants in his life, we're both trying to work out how we can handle it delicately, but maybe I'm just going to have to ignore her, & try & talk to others at functions.

Nov 13, 2024 14:37

@Mm stay in touch with your old friend, even via Facebook or something, he could be in an abusive, or unhealthy relationship, & he might need you, when he finds his way out. I know it sucks, but try not to be to hard on him.

His one of six, plus partners, plus nieces & nephews, so there was bound to be someone I wasn't as fond of. If you have any suggestions on how to handle that. I'm open to it.

Nov 13, 2024 14:39

^^^ sorry spacebar 🤭 on my phone