SAMMIEJO

Souls drift around me like the dead leaves on a crisp autumn night as I enter the cemetery I feel your presence as thick as the fog that covers the wet mushy ground leading to your lonely grave. an ugly empty feeling envelopes my heart. A sound without a sound like white noise in the distance of a silent haunting night. It's been years now and I miss u, I haven't the strength to tell u that your dead. Selfishly I want to keep u any way that I can. Afraid to let u go, the only true love I've ever known. Such a beautiful tortured soul, I'm privileged that you've haunted me this long. I spy the smooth gray stone shadowed by the willow tree on which we used to climb and remember your laugh. Your presence is strong here I can actually imagine your face staring at me with deep set blue eyes. The very same captivating stare that started my fall. Lovely. Broken. Beautiful. I silently weep longing to be in your arms knowing that tonight will be the last. The hardest decision of my life. It is time for u to go I know, but I lay on the cold moist earth upon where your body now resides. "Just hold me" I plead remembering your touch. I smell u and ache to feel your warmth. "Please" but I know the warmth is no more. I cry aloud and try to find my strength. I have let u go. "Your dead" I cry "you've done this to yourself, I love u but u chose to go this way!" "I f**king hate u for the s**t u put me through! U left me here to rot alone yet I'm still crying over u! Your a weakling and u make me sick, a selfish bastard that didn't give a s**t! U used to say u loved me and it used to mean a lot but that was just one other lie that I wish I never bought u were too deeply absorbed in feeling sorry for yourself that u didn't notice me or the suffering that I felt. I wish I never met u maybe then you'd still be alive I wouldn't have to worry about the blood you've shed or the tears I've cried! But then again I would have never felt your touch upon my skin or your kiss upon my lips because they never would have been. The vary thought of this makes my heart began to rive because when u died so did a part of me inside" still silence... on my knees I cry and hold my torso tight. He is gone... Silence.....