Hi, I’m Tyler and I’m an alcoholic... Oh sorry, wrong group. I’m a bit of an informal fellow, so there’s no need to bow. A salute will be adequate.
I personally consider myself a solipsist, though that philosophical idea has about as much respect as Sigmund Freud in contemporary scholasticism.
Due to popular opinion, I am usually referred to as a jerk, and sometimes that makes me cry myself to sleep. Because of an incredibly bad sense of humor, I am now shunned from most public appearances.
In my defense, I had a difficult childhood, which led to low self-esteem, which I projected onto others and punished them with my insipid soul-crushing jokes. So in a very real way, I am the victim, and I forgive me.
I am an enthusiastic practitioner of obfuscation, and this characteristic has been the main attribution in my drive to pursue higher education. Because I don’t like money, I have chosen to attend a pretentious private university.
I’m a full-time psych major, full-time wage slave, bastard by day, and Action Bastard by night.
Ladies, gentlemen, and everything in-between, it has been an honor acting like pompous asses with you all.