How does anyone truly explain themselves? Idk. I’m honest, intelligent, analytical, and difficult. I am very open “I wear my heart upon my sleeves...” (Shakespeare) but yet very guarded because I know what it’s like to be hurt... all to well. I try to be trusting, but probably not too good at that anymore. Coming off one hell of a year. I’ve been through abuse my whole life, every form, and have seen so much manipulation. It inspires me not to ever be or do that to others. I think I’m a rare person who is hard to understand and doubt I’ll find any meaningful connection here so what’s it matter if I lay it all out, who knows, maybe I will. I’ve been in love once in my life, we were together ten years. Turns out I never really knew her tho, kinda like the great betrayal that’s started me on this journey. As of now, I’m kinda lone wolf, I don’t have any friends or anybody close to me. That’s the biggest reason I’m on here, I want closeness and bonds with others but am truly terrified. I have more sadness and s**t that’s gone on too but I’m not a mopey, poor me kind of person, I just reflect and look for understanding. I’ve had a hard life sure, but so have so many others and I know my life’s not the worse. I want to take all the negative and make something beautiful out of it, just been harder lately to find how. Now, my journey is just spiritual/mentally but soon it will become physical as well and I will hit the open road. I expect that to happen within the next 6 months. I kinda wish it wouldn’t be alone, but I expect it will. I imagine it will take a special kind of person to read all this and send me message. I won’t be holding my breath for that, but hey if you don’t try you’ll never know. Thanks for reading this, have a great day.