A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."
It's always good to open with a joke.
Hey everyone! My names Guppy or Adam depending on how well you know me.
First things first, I hate moody depressive people. They're not fun to be around or to talk to because all they do is complain about how s**t their lives are. Life is wonderful and the world is full of beautiful things like boobies.
I'm a full time biker and I love it. I spend a fair chunk of my spare time cleaning, working on and riding my bikes in all weathers and conditions. I'd love to do a tour of europe in summer 2013 and would love a riding partner.
I'm almost completely nocturnal and hardly see any daylight during the winter months.
I've got a pretty varied music taste but generally listen to stuff like Coal Chamber, Alien vampires, Static-X and Mudvayne.
I don't really use this a lot but I use facebook nearly daily so look me up, Adam Guppy Cawley
Ciao X
