I am a willful, and yet very submissive sort searching for a wise and incredibly powerful sort I may be useful to in efery way, someone I am wanted by.
So, tho' I may wish to wail from me this life with ease, bring me into arms where sleep is rest, or call me thy “poor pathetic creature" or tear my heart from her hot place to in tears die. . .so that someday there where tears blood meet, ‘twill die as began, and th’ only secret left to keep is my every thought of thee...
This does not mean I am not enraptured cold and alone in the hands of dread at living another day; it is that my deepest secret is how I pretend daily, all day long, that I have someone who loves me with me, someone affectionate to the core, violent to the spirit, aggressive to my heart, and blissfully unholy with want, always in command. Those who I know are wise are those that understand the past is not something left behind, but it is alive, whether to call upon or forcefeed you your own heart from inside.
Still, I find it so saddening and lachrymose when I am called upon and then nefer taken again, so I feel I must say something more, perhaps how I came here:
Long agone, as if from another life, I heard my siblings laughing in some other room at some other quip than an unobserved death. Well, I was the youngest, the most abominable, long blonde hair, dreadfully dirty in its rough dissent over my shoulders; ‘twas a drape to hide the eyes only from the peripheral onlookers. Alone, half-insane, I would stare out the window, budding at the sill. The charred residue of hot tears were always carven into my blushed face like an unreadable name on the head of a broken grave.
I was disturbed with unrest, chandeliers half-litten and dappled light of candles crossing my face only from the next room in the tall mansion of many. The lights were all out in this room…save for the bluey glow in a sterile pair of interloping eyes, a twin-couple proudly sad on a pale visage’s face. I turned to her, and then walked thro’ her ghost as she faded away. I only dismissed the idea out of disdain for my deserving nature; how belittled I am by the mere thought. So I lay back down on the arm of the long-chair, with what horrible sighs strangling my throbbing throat, writhen with soaking cries that were always soon to come again.
She came back, her figure’s nakedness felled in the glistened white gown that was dead and droll from the neural film of despair over my eyes, a suicidal vow begetting a slight labial whisper as I stared into her eyes.
“Swiftly enow,” she said softly. “Seek thee a mother to hold thee? Well, soon enow the Mother of Mothers shall have thee beside Her…in due course….” There is always hesitation there, efen remembering, and I could not speak. She did tho’, and well-soft asked she: “Canst thou wait?” With long golden locks, her head tilted in want for my answer with a comforting raise of her eyebrows. “Canst thou wait?...”
“I…,” I tried to say to this vision, this image that was translucently invisible unless I strained my mind to keep myself embedded in the séance. I said so softly like the strength of dry leaves cracking ‘neath the feather-fall weight of a sleeping tear at the eaves “I don’t know…. I…don’t…. Canst thee not take me up in arms…even tho’ ‘tis as fardels of brier and thorn?” I waited for an answer but she said naught, and it occurred to me that I might not be in the position to beg succor from a form of Dana, but natheless I resumed for sorrowed soliloquy—“What dost thou see?”—They were not the words I meant to say, but she had suddenly began looking towards the window as if she was dead and engraved e're her sillowy time--
Long poetic story short, I died again.
Now, for the questions the site has failed to ask:
Languages: English, (some Swedish, very little Chinese and Japanese, studying Old Celtic/Irish and Old Latin)
Religion: Pagan
Occupation: Retired
Have children: No
Want children: Definitely
My friends say I look like: I have been told I am outrageous in my philosophies, compassionate, socially kind by some and quiet and silent or efen fearsome by others. My looks ye must understand are based entirely on mine own culture. I am not bad at leather-work and sewing, so I choose to manipulate mine environment to fit both my tenebrous heart, its puppet-black strings, and its chains in all their broken glory, all at once.
Weight: 155 lbs
Body: Average
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Dark Blonde
Endowment: Long and thick
Circumsized: Yes
Tattoos: None, they are not for me
Piercings: None, they are not for me
Most attractive feature: Prefer not to say
Style: Goth, Punk, Professional
(For those who are only interested in making use of mine other abilities)
Participation: Possible face-to-face, 1-on-1 amything, Other activities
*****es: Blindfolds, ****** and discipline, Chastity equipment, Douche/enema, High heels, Hot wax, Latex, Smoking, Torture, Toys, Voyeurism, Watersports, Big t*ts, Big c**k, Hairy, Shaved smooth, Talking dirty, Cross-dressing, Exhibitionism, Sadism and masochism, Amputees, Feet, Food fun, Furries, Leather, Role-playing, Spanking, Tantric s*x, Tattoos, (the only reason I mention all these being that I can handle anything)
m****rbation: Prefer not to say
My most er***c encounter: I cannot differ 'twixt them only for that I am intent on making each encounter insatiably er***c for each that partakes of my...abilities, as I am accepting, of course.
Guilty pleasures: Guilt is a body clasped with lust in herself, and I can adorn myself with dust and still be black and wet with the silt of her aptitude; that is the beauty of it.
On webcam I like to: I am sorry. I am too sensitive for something like "webcam", my dears. I feel consolation in the eyes of a one-on-one; th' strong point of that binding chain is that I am always open there.
Toys: Butt plugs, Climax beads, *****s, Probes, Ben wa balls, Ice cubes, Vibrators, Anal beads, Clit stimulators, Strap-ons (again, anything)
Roleplaying: Prefer not to say
Most important in a sexual partner: sexual experience, Ability to be discreet, Personality, Other
Favorite places to "play": Hotels, Outdoors, Other
Would meet a single man: No
Would meet a single woman: Yes
When I go out I like to: A creature of great stamina and shadow, I've slept on a hard rock once upon a time, just to see the vultures be my halo in the ashen glow of th' nether gloaming that mote come efter the morning, for I am not more than to choose th' harsher environment. I am not so rude as to simply "test" my limits. I enrealize them to complete immortality.
I like to stay up for a night under a tree doing naught but writing very old Irish style poetry and complimenting myths and their truths with studies into all things Dark and Light, and the practice of myself, and when she (whatefer lover that I mote belong to) is with me, I may be taken by her there.
One should nefer misunderstand my fearlessness with a deathwish. When I am alone, I take extremely long walks in search of dangerous places, (I am a training combat-fighter in all forms of martial arts that deal in lethal combat, I do not do non-lethal attempts and I do not entertain ideas of peace in less I am in the arms of the superior s*x [women]).
*smiles* I do a good deal of housekeeping, as would a drapery of fathomless mastery extend herself 'cross the face of living. My sentient self is easily reachable there.
Drinking: Never
Smoking: Never
Drugs: I don't take drugs
Night Life: Night clubs, Dinner
Activities: Business research, Computer programming, Playing music, Cooking, Gardening, Reading, Writing poetry, Writing novels
More about The Dia von-Lynch Experience: Practicing Witch, (Anti-Christ and efen Satanic not for its relevance to Wiccecraeft, but that is just a little preference of mine)
Eferything that can possibly be done in the grounds of inspirational, art, and research.
