Alright first of all.
I invented water; you've probably drank it, or swam in it before - yea, that stuff, I made that. You're welcome.
I can fly, no you can't see.
I'm Married to Batman.
Your family wanted to adopt me when we were kids but my parents beat yours in a karate tournament.
I'm fireproof.
The devil sold his soul to me, I gave it Justin Bieber.
I helped develop philosophy.
I designed the blueprints for The Sphinx.
I smell great.
I'm awesome.
P.S You guys are Awesome too ;3