There is a lot about me, but the best way for me to talk about myself is if you just ask me a question, I like answering questions, its hard to think of anything specific about myself, but a question helps my mind to click and start spilling out like a destroyed floodgate, I'm an open book, I'm not afraid or shy of anything you might ask.
But I will try to help giving you somthing to start with about myself.
Generally speaking, on the surface, I'm very simple, and laid back with the most basic needs (my PC, I'm a major gamer, my bed and my curiosity) im not the most social of people outside those I want to be around, either online or physically in person. BUT when I am within my preferred company, then I can be depraved weirdo self with my stupid and dark humour. So you can trust I'm not out chatting people up as I really do not like having too many people in my life, I like to keep my life small and compact, I find it a lot of effort to stay in contact with too many people all the time, including the few friends I keep, I think object permanence might be why, I just dedicate my self, my time, my effort, my focus into my partner with like 90% and the remaining 10% split between everyone and everything else because my partner and I are supposed to be a team in love and friendship, as corny as that might sound, that has each other's back and to be able to reassure each other when one of us is feeling defeated, or unsure of ourselves.
I often struggle with communication and expressing myself, I ask for some patience while I try to decipher my own thoughts into somthing coherent when it happens, I know there is more I'm forgetting to mention, and this is why questions are great for me, its easier to think about myself as I will often think of additional things of relevance to the question.
I am very tired of using these dating apps/sites, extremely tired of them and just trying in general too. I've always been a skeptical person, and past experiences have only just justified my skepticism and amplified it over the last 13 years, I try to not be a pessimist as much as I can, but its really hard when I just keep experiencing the same nonsense over and over again. I am sick of the lies, mind games, gaslighting cheating and just purposely wasting my time or trying to catfish me and use me.
I just want someone I can be my clingy cuddling depraved perv self with everyday, who genuinely wants to be with me and be themselves with me, both as friends and partners together in life, helping each other, listening to each other, never ignoring, never disregarding each others thoughts and concerns and always discussing a plan to resolve our concerns, always there for each other in a life together that ideally is the rest of our life together, the mentality of needing to date and f**k other people for experience to know for certain what kind of person you want to be with or to "experience life before settling down" is total bulls**t and just an excuse to sleep around. I just want a person I click with that is understanding and patient with me when I struggle to communicate, I don't want to have experience with 2 people let alone 5 or 10 or 50, I just want one, I want to be able to experience things for the first time with my life partner, not a bunch of people I briefly know that I never speak to again afterwards and slowly breaking me after each failed attempt. But be warned I do have a strong sexual nature myself with a high drive, although suppressed and a mind constantly in the gutter 😅 so you need to be able to embrace that if things are to go forward.
