I've tried all sorts of things, some of them quite different from the norms of most people. And I know I fall in love easily. Almost wish it wasen't so.. but im just a sucker lol. If the right girl with the right eyes sits me down and tells me a little bit about herself. On the inside.. it just feels like I know them enough.. to know they are a good person. Even if they have issues. And I just cannot help but fall in love. And I couldn't tell you if whether it happens too easily... or I just haven't gotten lucky yet. But I do 100% that I have given everything I am to love when I felt it. In fact I've given more then 100% of myself. There's parts of yourself you didn't even know you had until love touches them. Until love wakes them up. You start to understand why you guard your love. Why you guard it and why you put up certain defenses. Because it cuts so deeply and it just seems to hard to find it mutually in it's purest form. Well I still believe it.. even if it hasn't believed in me so much in the past. I'm still willing to give more then I am to the right person.
But I want it all also
That initial shell shock.. of omg how does a person this gorgeous exist. And then continuing into meeting the person.. like wow and they just seem totally amazing also.. And while alot of us do seem to have our own preferences or just types we seem to fall more easily for... I think anyone with a beautiful smile is beautiful. You could be a total stranger passing by the street.. but if your smililng and I feel warm positive energy coming from you.. you make me feel better about myself. About my day. About how I feel about all of it. It's taken me a really long time to realize what I am.. deep down what I want.. I am definitely a girls girl. Even the things I'm saying in this post.. that I just cannot find Ms. Right. That I just keep getting unlucky in love. That I fall too easily. I've heard girls say these exact type of words.. and honestly I don't even think they feel them as deeply as I feel them. But I know I am an amazing person.. and I think one day it's going to work out for me. And if it doesn't.. I think love is a perfectly suitable thing to look for and want for the rest of your life.
You can't just.. make yourself fall in love with someone. But I tell anybody I want a real future with everything. More then I would my best friend. Because I want my love to be my best friend. I want them to know me intimately. How I am.. how I think.. how I feel. This makes it easier for the other person to decide for themselves if this is something that could possible work.. or if they want to explore the possibilities.
Im hoping to find love again.. And if I do.. I want to work on it everyday. It seems to come and go for so many people. I don't think it has to be something fleeting though. I believe it can stay and grow everyday if you keep trying and believing in it. And give at least a little something back to it every day. We are all busy. but even just a little something to keep it growing in the right direction is enough.
