Dont stare directly into my hair, you may not come back alive.
Also, Have you felt my shirt? Its made from 100% pure boyfriend material.
Im a big boy now, I work a job (two actually), I go to school, have a car, i know how to cook, and in the mornings I even put my shoes on and my pants all by myself (albeit somewhat haphazardly). Yup, momma is so proud of me. In my freetime I fight crime and solve mysteries with my talking dog and misfit gang of pot smoking hippie kids.
Despite all of this amazingness and self reliant shoe tying, im quite single and frankly, very tired of it.
Ive gotten to the point in my life, where Im ready to start planning to settle down. I want a relationship, someone I can cook for, take out to the movies, cuddle with at night, and be completely comfortable farting around.
Maybe even buy a small dog and dress it in ridiculous clothing.
Now dont get me wrong, just cuz I want a relationship doesnt mean after two phone calls were gonna jump right into a Sprint Family Plan right away (trust me, you dont want any part of my phone bill). No, I respect dating, and I appreciate the process of getting to know a person.. However, I will not be led on, I do not like that feeling, and I wont wait on anyone forever..
I'd date me. I'd date me so hard.
A few things you should know about me:
10. I am kid tested, mother approved
9. I am 6'2, tall dark and batman.
8. I watch cartoons....like, religiously.
7/ Im employed,and self sufficient. I dont need your moneyz, i haz my own.
6. Im a cuddler, you should be too.
5. I will hold in my farts around you till about the third date... so if we make it that far, that means youre special.
4. Obama vored for me.
3. I like pie. With that being said I cook and bake. Awesomeness.
2. I am well trained and housebroken. Its been a long time since ive peed on anyone's furniture... erm, accidentally at least.
1. Im amazeballs.
If you like what you read, hit me up. If not, go back and read it again.. duh
